Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
