You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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