Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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