We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
