4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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