You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
