and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
