Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
