You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
