Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I didn't notice because vodka
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
