is wine microwaveable?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
