I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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