i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
wow bdsm is so cute
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
