I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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