Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
