Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
