Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
