so that wasnt chicken after all
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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