Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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