the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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