what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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