I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just cropdusted the office
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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