My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
