so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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