I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Success! We fucked roommates!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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