I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
