Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
