Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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