i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
