umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
