I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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