I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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