So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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