you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize