3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
