we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
