U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
