Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
