I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
