I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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