I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
