omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
