Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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