something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize