yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
