He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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