There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
