Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
