How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
