You're my little dorito
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
