mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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