Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
