end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
