I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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