i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
