please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
