Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize