Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
