Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
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Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
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He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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