Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
